


Forgiveness

by BattyIntentions



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-08 02:16:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14684355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattyIntentions/pseuds/BattyIntentions
Summary: Kuron doesn't believe he belongs with the team, but maybe, just maybe, they can prove him wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

The door slid shut with a sense of finality and Kuron sighed, leaning back against it. He sat down and cuddled his stolen blanket close. It was soft and warm, the only real piece of comfort he could allow himself. He got up and went over to the bed, pulling a knife out from under the pillow. This was the only way to protect his, no _Shiro's_ team. Kuron tucked the knife into his pocket, grabbed his fluffy blanket, and taped a note to the door as he left. There was no going back now.

  
He headed deeper into the Castle and settled on a storage room. It was all too easy to get inside and he picked a dimly lit corner to sit in. He bundled up in his blanket and smiled sadly. If only he'd let himself steal it sooner, he would have gotten to enjoy it longer. Kuron pulled the knife out and lightly twirled it in his hand. He passed it to his Galra hand and flinched as Black's voice suddenly grew louder in his head, begging him to change his mind. The headache returned too, more painful than before. Before the headache could stop him, he cut his flesh arm from wrist to elbow. The headache screamed at him and Black nudged him, a last, desperate plea. He pushed her off and pulled the blanket tighter. Kuron closed his eyes against the pounding in his head. It reached a peak that had him biting back a scream as darkness started to overtake his vision. The pain flared and vanished, drawing a weak giggle from his lips. He was _free_. Kuron closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.

* * *

  
The chill of the cryopod clung to his skin as it opened. Nobody helped him or caught him as he stumbled out of the pod. He leaned against the door and his eyes flickered across the faces of Shiro's team, taking in their thinly veiled fear. He couldn’t blame them, he was scared of himself too. Keith broke away from the group and stalked towards him. Kuron didn't even get the chance to speak before Keith pushed him back against the cryopod's door, fury and anguish all over his face.

  
“You knew you were a clone, that Shiro was still _out there_ , and you just stayed and acted like him! And you didn't even have the gall to say it to our faces!”

  
“Keith, that’s enough!” Allura pulled him back and he scowled. “Give him a chance to speak for himself.” Kuron looked away from them and down to the ground.

  
“I’m sorry.”

  
“Shi-Kuron,” Allura quickly corrected herself, “is everything in your note the truth?”

  
“Yes. Haggar was in my head and using the headaches to control me and force me to do what she wanted. She left when I was dying, but I don't know if she can come back.”

  
“And how long have you known all of this?”

“Since after you and Lotor went to Oriande. I talked to Black and she told me.” His voice dropped as he spoke, rubbing over the scar he knew was on his arm now. “I’m sorry.” Allura frowned.

  
“Why didn't you say anything?”

  
“What could I say? Besides, Haggar was in my head. I wouldn’t have been able to.”

  
“Why did you do it?” Pidge suddenly asked and Matt put his hand on her shoulder.

  
“Pidge don't.” She shook his hand off.

  
“Why did you try to kill yourself? You could have reached out to us!” Kuron flinched at her words.

  
“I did it to protect you from Haggar…and because it wouldn’t matter if I died. I’m just a defective copy that shouldn’t exist anyway. You would be better off without me.”

  
“How could you say that?” Even without looking up, he could tell Pidge was crying, could hear it in her voice.

  
“It's the truth. I can't seem to do anything but make everyone upset. I just keep hurting you and I _hate_ it! Even if you're Shiro's team and Shiro's friends and not mine, I still don't want to hurt you. I-I… _fuck_.” If he'd been Shiro, he would have held it together, but he wasn't and he was so _tired_ of pretending. Kuron started to cry. “I’m sorry, I'll do better next time.”

  
“What do you mean by that number 1-b?” Coran asked softly and Kuron's quiet sobs were his only answer. He gently went over to the clone and wrapped him up in a hug. “You know you don't have to die, right? You deserve to live just like anyone else on this ship.”

  
“No, no I don't, I _don’t_. I'm sorry. I’m so sorry.” Kuron startled when Lance started hugging him too.

  
“Yes you do. You're a good person and a good friend. You did everything you could to help and protect us, now let us do the same for you.” Kuron just cried harder and the rest of the crew joined in the hug. He cried and cried until he couldn’t anymore and they let him go once he'd calmed down.

  
“Now, there are going to be some changes around here,” Allura said and Pidge pulled out a bracelet and offered it to him.

  
“Hunk, Matt, and I made this for you. It'll monitor your vitals and alert everyone if you try to take it off or if they change.”

  
“You will be getting your own room, but for now it will not have locking privileges. We will also take turns coming by to check on you.” Kuron stared at the bracelet, then at Allura.

  
“You're putting me on suicide watch,” he breathed out, stunned.

  
“Yes.”

  
“ _Why_?”

  
“Because we care about you and we know that you cannot guarantee that you will not try again.” He flinched at the truth of her words and looked away. He wordlessly held out his wrist for Pidge and she clipped the bracelet on.

  
“We'll go set up your room for you. Is there anything in particular you want?” His mind immediately jumped to the blanket he'd had but he hesitated. Lance smiled softly at him.

  
“Do you want fluffy blankets?” He nodded. “Anything else?” He shook his head. Lance came over to him and pulled him into a quick hug. “Everything’s going to be okay big guy, you'll see.” Kuron smiled weakly and nodded. He didn't quite believe Lance but he felt that, just maybe, it wouldn’t hurt to try.


	2. Chapter 2

Things were weird now. Kuron spent a lot of his time hiding in his new room, trying to figure out and piece together what parts of him were really him and what came from Shiro. When he wasn't hiding away, Coran was running tests on him to make sure he was healthy and wouldn’t start deteriorating. So far, the only side effects he seemed to have were minimal and not life threatening. The first one they figured out was that his hair grew quickly. He stopped cutting it and let it grow. Short hair was more Shiro's thing anyway. He didn't really mind his long hair. The second one was that he still had headaches. They weren’t nearly as bad as they had been when Haggar was in his head but they were still bad. Other than that, he seemed okay. 

That news didn't serve to make him feel any better though. Kuron couldn't bring himself to leave his room outside of his tests. Every time he even thought about it, fear seized his heart and he could hear a voice rebounding in his skull, telling him that he didn't belong with the team, that they were better off with him hidden away like a dirty secret. It didn't help that every time someone checked on him, they kept their distance. Part of him understood that they were trying not to push him when he wasn't ready, but the voice told him otherwise, that they didn't want to interact with him, that all their concern from before had simply been an act. At this point, he didn't know what to believe. Kuron flinched a little as the door opened and he pulled the blanket tighter around himself. He peered out from his cocoon and watched as Coran set the bowl of food goo on the table, picking up the untouched bowl Pidge had left earlier for him and sighing. Kuron shrunk back in his blanket at the sound. He hadn't been eating much, maybe once a day max. He couldn't seem to bring himself to eat more than that. Coran set the bowl back down and straightened up, face set in determination.

"Right, okay, let's go." He turned on Kuron and easily yanked the blanket off of him.

"Wait! What are you doing?" Kuron shrieked, voice hoarse from disuse. Coran didn't even pause as he grabbed Kuron by the arm and tugged him up and out of the bed. He started pulling him towards the door and Kuron struggled, trying to pry Coran's hand off his Galra arm but it wasn't working. "Coran!" He ignored him as he continued dragging him through the halls by his arm. It took Kuron a second to realize where he was being taken and it only made him struggle more. "Coran please! I-I can't do this!" He screamed hysterically, terrified. Coran stopped and turned to face him, taking in his watery eyes and his trembling form, how scared he looked at the prospect of being in the dining hall with everyone.

"Why?" Kuron was taken aback by the question and scrambled for an answer while still trying to get Coran's fingers to loosen. His expression softened but his grip didn't relax at all. "Why Kuron?"

"I just  _can't_. I-I don't belong and it's best if I just stay away."

"And what makes you think that?" Kuron bit his lip and looked away, scoffing softly.

"What doesn't?" Coran hummed in thought.

"Is that why you haven't left your room?" He nodded. "What about why you haven't been eating much?"

"I didn't feel like it," he mumbled and Coran sighed.

"You need to eat to stay healthy. Now then, we're going to have lunch with everyone else. You're not leaving until you finish at least half of your food."

"Coran, please don't make me do this!" Coran almost caved in from his pleading tone but steeled his resolve. This was for Kuron's good, whether he saw that now or not.

"You don't have to sit near anyone or talk to anyone. You just have to sit and eat for me. Then you can go back to your room, okay?" It was the only mercy he would offer and Kuron nodded, shoulders dropping as the fight drained from his body. Coran still held his wrist just in case, guiding him along to the dining hall. They walked in and everyone fell quiet, their attention flying to Kuron. Coran looked back at him and frowned when he saw that he was shaking like a leaf in the wind and looked like he would bolt at any second. He tugged on his arm lightly to draw his attention from his panic and led him to a seat at the farthest end of the table. Surprisingly, Lance was the first to move. He quickly brought him a plate and smiled happily.

"Hey, how do you feel?" He asked, soft and gentle. Kuron looked up at him and hesitated before looking away and biting his lip.

"I-I'm okay." Lance smiled softly and sat beside him, making Kuron jump in fright. It didn't discourage Lance though.

"We've missed you around here. Maybe you could come out and eat with us again? It doesn't have to be today. Just, please come out more?" His eyes flickered to Lance and he nodded, relaxing a little. Kuron glanced past him and towards the rest of the team, who all were looking at him with worry and hope. Lance's words were the truth, they really had missed him, and that knowledge quieted the voice in his head.

"I think I will," he replied with a soft, weak smile. Lance's smile grew and Kuron relaxed fully. This was okay, he was okay. He belonged after all.


End file.
